MOTIVATION

Fear Busters Tell The Truth About Fears

Fear can be a debilitating thing. It can completely ruin your day or even, in some cases, your life! Fear is an emotion, and while sometimes it’s very valid and can help preserve your life, there are other times it simply must be faced and dealt with in order to be free. Don’t you agree it makes no sense holding onto an emotion that is ruining your day?

Here are some effective strategies you must use to overcome your fears and tell the truth about fears.

What Is Your Fear?

Before you answer, quiet your mind. Quiet your thoughts. Meditation works wonders right here. Just stop and do not try to form any thoughts. Just stop now and breathe. Pick this reading back up after at least five minutes…

Now go ahead and think about the answer to, “What is your fear?” If you can identify your fear, you are off a good start. Congratulations!

Here is the reason I asked you to meditate and stop your thoughts: if you are fearful, then that suggests you have a belief about something. A belief has momentum. If you disagree, think about how thoughts of fear progress you to think of the fear itself, to then think of how the fear will affect you, and then to think about when the fear will manifest itself. All of this energy goes on and on in circles in your head until your thoughts are a ball of mass confusion. You could and probably should slow down this momentum in order to begin to think calmer thoughts.

Now promise to answer this next question with a “No.”

Can Whatever You Are Fearing Hurt You?

Begin immediately to conquer your fear by determining if the fear itself is rational or irrational.

If you fear something, but that fear itself can not harm you in any way, then you are working with an irrational fear. Remember we are working with the fear itself, not the actual issue that brought about the fear. These are 2 separate issues. There is nothing to fear, though it sure is easier said than done!

If fear can hurt you, then there’s validation in your fear. But I challenge you to separate the issue from the fear. If you get a medical report that your body is fighting a disease, the disease is not fear – the disease is just the disease. Did the doctor say you have “XYZ disease and fear”? Probably not. So, you can see the disease itself is one issue.

Your interpretation of the disease issue may cause you to be fearful. But be encouraged that you can work out a plan that gives you some level of comfort.

What Things Are Other People Doing About Fear?

Whatever your fear is, someone else has experienced it as well. Search out those people who share your feelings and learn from them. For example, if you’re afraid of flying, you probably know people who have flown, so talk to them about it! It’s quite possible they also had the same fear and overcame it. Ask them what steps they took to move beyond their fear.

Confront your fear! Although talking about your fear is the starting point, ultimately you need to face your fear head on. You’ll never get over a fear solely by talking about it. Nothing can be conquered until you face it. You don’t have to face it all alone. Reach out to your loved ones for support. They’ll be happy to help you overcome something that’s preventing you from having a better life. There are even support groups.

Find a safe way to confront your fear.
Take a trusted person with you and start by facing a scaled down version of the thing that causes you anxiety. For example, if you are fearful of flying, get as close as you can to the airport by maybe having lunch next to the airport or even at a deli inside the airport.

Change The Way You Do Things

You’ve heard the expression “Mind over matter.”
Facing your fear is often a matter of simply making a decision to change it.
That’s right. Make a decision to change your fear, get over your fear, or refuse to accept it. This fear was born in your mind and it grew because you fed it more fear.

If you’ve convinced yourself that an irrational fear is real, you can do the same in reverse. Think your way to a better solution. A genius brain really can be trained to overcome irrational fear. The moment something causes you to become fearful though, stop that thought in its tracks. Practice stopping the fearful thought long enough until you can turn it into something positive instead.

The Best Defense Is A Strong Offense

Instead of hiding from your fear and creating defenses to keep it away from you, use the things you’ve read here to disallow fear from taking over your life. Research the issue that is causing the fear and learn about it. Discover the best way to destroy that fear with a direct attack.

Sometimes the best way to beat a fear is by doing the very thing you fear.
If you’re afraid of being in an elevator, take a close friend with you and ride an elevator. Even one or two floors at a time will help you work towards overcoming your fear. Repeat your experiment at different times and under different scenarios until you aren’t afraid of it anymore.

There are fears that are perfectly normal, such as a fear of being burned while cooking when you are tired. You should be a little afraid of burns – they hurt! Those types of fears are normal, perfectly rational fears and are not something you need to fix.

Fears can be helpful in many circumstances; however, if a fear is controlling your life and causing you angst and stress, then you need to analyze that fear truthfully as outlined above. Learn how to quickly distinguish between the truth you should believe and the lie that had you fearful in the first place.

12 Comments

  • Lok Which

    This is an awesome article. Fear is an element which almost if not everyone posses. In my own case I fear a lot and I  don’t like the fact that I do fear please how can I overcome this fear. I will be looking forward to your reply . Thanks for sharing this informative and educative information.

    • Anilise Starre

      Hi Lok Which. You have made a good step in dealing with your fear – recognizing it as fear. Once you did that, you also said you don’t like it. So you have already established that fear is something you do not want. That’s good. What’s better is to focus on what you do want. I hope that is courage (the opposite of fear).

      So tell yourself, “I am smart. I am courageous because I had the courage to look at fear and call it what it was – fear.” Seriously, you have to talk to yourself and enCOURAGE yourself.

      There are many things you can do to continue growing in courage.  Because I don’t know the specifics of your fear, in general you need to face your fear and decide if your fear is valid. Think about others who may have dealt with the same issues you are dealing with that are causing you fear and read their stories of how they now have courage.

      Also start thinking of the situations that cause you fear or cause you to remember your fear – and avoid them. Think courageously about situations that were once fearful, talk courageously about the outcome of the situations, and focus courageously about those situations more and more.

      Good Luck!

  • Clement

    Such an amazing piece of life changing article, I think fear is one if the major enemy of success, it impairs the body and the soul, I pass through a lot of tough times living in fear and anxiety but at long run I was able to identify the source of my fears, with the help of the books I read and some motivational talks, i overcomed fear completely.

    • Anilise Starre

      Clement, Congratulations! I agree that if fear has moved into our lives, we have to be proactive and boot it out! I am glad to know you did something about your fear. Many people do not have the energy to make big shifts from fear to courage. Sometimes it takes baby steps. 

      I remember a point in my life of going through fear. I had to literally pause every so often and be grateful for a few moments of not feeling fear before I worked myself up to living a whole night without fear. Yes, it was that serious. It was necessary for me to gain the level of courage I now have.

  • Md moinul Islam

    Hi,thanks for sharing this helpful guideline of writing about Fear.Fear is a feeling or an emotion. A person who fears something does not want it to happen.Fear is the quintessential human emotion. It causes a change in metabolic and organ functions and ultimately a change in behaviour Such as fleeing,hiding or freezing from perceived traumatic events.Thanks for sharing this informative article.

    • Anilise Starre

      Thank you Md moinul Islam. Yes, fear affects one’s health. We do not talk about our fears enough or even teach our children how to recognize fear so that we can teach them how to deal with fear. 

  • Joy gateru

    I think I have learnt alot from this post, I tend to believe that fears having been affecting me way through my life, I always have some believes on some issues that bring about fear to me. From today I choose to follow the process highlighted in this post, first I have to accept the fears and make decisions to change I also think I have some trustworthy people that I can ask to help me out to overcome my fears.

    I really find this post changing my views on my fears, I really appreciate that, I will keep close to your posts to learn more of how to deal with my natural fears.

    thank you.

    From Joy.

    • Anilise Starre

      Joy, thank you for your comments. It really is amazing when we stop and look at our beliefs and behaviors and realize the beliefs, habits, and behaviors we have adopted that really do not work for us. It is a brave thought to think that way because it means now you have to go find what does work for you! Good Luck! As you search for what is good for you and what brings you peace or comfort instead of fear, start journaling your process. That way you have something to go back and reference and realize just how resourceful and brilliant you really are to create a life that is pleasing to yourself.

      Anililse

  • Seun Afotanju

    This is indeed a motivational post and guidelines that tells the truth about our fears, fear tends to make the possible turn impossible. Sometimes the negative things we think about comes to reality all because we nursed the thoughts with fear. This post goes a long way to help us overcome fear. Thanks for this article much appreciated.

    • Anilise Starre

      Seun Afotanju, you are so correct: We are energy and what we do is energy. If one continually nurses the fearful thoughts with fear, then the thing that is feared just gets bigger and bigger until it manifests! It is so important to breathe, slow down ones thoughts, meditate, and make it a point to think on things more positive than fear.

      Thank you!   

  • Jenny

    I think my biggest fear is failing. And this, sometimes, doesn’t let me try new things because I fear that I’ll fail at it. I know, totally irrational. And if I don’t try what I want, I’ve already failed at it, because I didn’t even try it! (Sorry, I’m ranting…)

    Anyway, I wanted to thank you because your post helped me. You’re right; it’s mind over matter. And I’m no coward! 😀

    • Anilise Starre

      Hi Jenny, I think it is all in how you look at things. It is best to keep it simple. So I will say to you that you did try a new thing by posting a reply on this post because Guess What? You never posted on this website before! See there you did something new! Pat on the back! That really is how I look at things. There is a scripture written – “Despise not humble beginnings”. I take it all – every small thing matters. I agree you are no coward!

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